Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We smell like vodka and hangover
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