With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize