I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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