I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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