some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
