do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
