this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
