i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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