i already hear my dad disowning me
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize