my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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