You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
