i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
In America we eat man semen.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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