The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Randomize
