So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
