In the future we'll all be gay
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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