He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
