We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
