Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
