I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
