I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
