I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
