If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
