thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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