we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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