I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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