i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
