He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
