just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
