I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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