It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
We smell like vodka and hangover
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