Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
