I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
