HIV tests are more positive than that guy
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
