my vag is so smooth its legendary
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
