I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
