At least make sure they are 18
Why
if only i could text you this smell
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
