rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
