Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
