so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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