I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
this will be a night to untag.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize