You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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