there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize