No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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