dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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