I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
