how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
