Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
