a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
