I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Randomize
