he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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