the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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