Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
