roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
