I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i will never coherently bang her
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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