Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
