Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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