I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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