If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize