Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
