I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
