I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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