my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
